Parenting Young Adult Children with Grace and Growth

    As a parent of two young adult children, ages 24 and 20, I find this season of life to be both deeply rewarding and unexpectedly challenging. It’s rewarding to witness the fruits of my labor—watching them grow, evolve, and begin to shape their own paths in this vast world of adulthood. At the same time, it’s a challenge to recognize that their needs have shifted. While I’ll always be their mom, my role has changed. I’m learning to parent not children but adults, which means embracing a new kind of support, communication, and trust. It’s a transition that calls for both reflection and growth on my part, too.

    Because parenting doesn’t end when your child turns 18, raising young adults can be a delicate dance between letting go and staying connected. It’s about shifting from managing their lives to walking beside them as they navigate their own. This stage is rich with opportunity but can also feel confusing, especially when old patterns no longer apply. I’ve come to realize I’m not alone in this shift and below, I’ve outlined some key insights and lessons I’ve learned while navigating this evolving journey of parenting young adults.

1. Recognize the Transition

Your child is no longer a teenager, they’re stepping into adulthood. This doesn’t mean they don’t need you, but your role evolves. Respecting their autonomy is key. They’re making choices that might look different than what you envisioned but allowing them space to explore their path is part of honoring their growth.

2. Practice Active Listening Over Directing

Young adults don’t always want solutions. More often, they want to feel heard and validated. Instead of jumping in with advice, ask thoughtful questions like, “What do you think your options are?” or “How can I support you?” This empowers them to think critically and builds their confidence.

3. Set Healthy Boundaries (for Them and You)

Whether they live at home or independently, boundaries help maintain mutual respect. You might need to revisit rules about shared spaces, finances, or communication. Clear expectations reduce tension and remembering that you’re allowed to have needs too keeps the relationship balanced.

4. Support Without Smothering

Offer your support but resist the urge to control. It’s natural to worry, especially when you see your child struggle. But struggles are often where growth happens. Be their safety net, not their puppet strings.

5. Embrace the Relationship as It Is, Not as It Was

Parenting a 7-year-old is very different from parenting a 20-year-old. Let go of nostalgia long enough to meet your adult child where they are. Be curious about who they’re becoming. Let your connection evolve with them.

6. Model Emotional Regulation and Self-Care

Your young adult children are still watching you. Modeling healthy coping, communication, and boundary-setting is a powerful (and often underrated) form of parenting. Plus, it keeps you grounded in your own growth, which benefits everyone.

    Parenting young adults is a journey of mutual transformation. It asks you to shift, stretch, and trust. While it may look different than the years before, it holds the potential for an even deeper, more meaningful connection, one based not just on authority, but on mutual respect, love, and lifelong learning. As we embrace this evolving role, we not only support our children in becoming who they are meant to be, we also continue becoming the parents they need us to be now.

    If you’re seeking therapeutic support and guidance in parenting your adult children, help is available! At TC&C, we have trained and licensed therapists ready to assist residents of North Carolina, South Carolina, and Florida. Please feel free to contact us at (919) 283-6083.

About the Author

    LaDonn Woodson, LCSWA, is a dedicated therapist and proud mother of two young adults. She brings both professional expertise and personal experience to her work at Transformation Counseling and Consulting, where she has been supporting clients since 2023. LaDonn is especially passionate about walking alongside mothers as they navigate the evolving landscape of parenting adult children, helping them shift from a role of authority to one of connection, respect, and growth. Her warm, grounded approach empowers parents to embrace this new chapter with clarity, compassion, and confidence.

    To learn more about LaDonn and her work, visit: https://transformcc10.com/staff/ladonn-woodson-lcswa/